When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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