could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
