Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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