my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Randomize
