Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
