that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
