It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
We smell like vodka and hangover
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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