There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
