She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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