Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
