Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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