I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
