I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize