i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
