She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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