I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Small penises have feelings too.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
