honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
