I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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