it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
