There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
