woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
of course. lets lasso hookers.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
