No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
