I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
