I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
