# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
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