we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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