Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
it's like iHOP with fire
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
