My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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