hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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