i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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