cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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