Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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