I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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