it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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