Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
