I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
