The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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