yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
