That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
