i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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