so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
