u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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