where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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