I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
