so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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