What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Randomize
