So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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