this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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