I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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