I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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