i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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