No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
