in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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