my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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